The Single Most Terrifying Event of my Life

For the record, I’m still shaking.

So hubs and I have a “don’t acknowledge it” policy with Puffin when she runs into things. Which is frequent. We’ve found that if we don’t make it a big deal she’ll just brush it off unless she’s over tired or it really hurt.  That being said let me tell you about my day.

Last night my windshield wiper stopped working on my van. My dad is awesome with cars so I went over my parent’s house after church to have him look at it. My dad and Puffin were playing around in my parent’s bedroom, laughs squeals whole nine yards, when all of a sudden I hear a huge *thud* and Puffin lets out a cry. I figure ‘Ok no biggie she hurt herself she’ll be over it in a minute’. My dad brings her out into the kitchen and I see she’s still holding her breath (Puffin holds her breath when she’s really upset or hurt, pretty typical). Because she holds her breath when she’s upset/hurt I’m pretty good at figuring out when she’s going to take her next breath. Well that time came and went so I took her from my dad and started telling her to breathe and that it was gonna be ok. She finally takes a breath and its the most feeble little sound I’ve ever heard. Next thing I know she’s collapsed in my arms.

I turn to my mom who was right there and say “Mom! What do I do??!?!??!” She takes Puffin from me and starts trying to rouse her all while going “No no no no no!” This puts me instantly into freak out mode. My mom’s a pretty level headed woman and doesn’t usually lose it like that. She tells my dad to dial 911 and this is where I lose it completely. I go into the other room, pace and start shaking and sobbing. My Puffin was still limp, and being a first time mom my mind INSTANTLY went to worst case scenario (being OMG she’s dead, she’s gone, what am I gonna do) My dad says “No I don’t need to call them, here she is, she’s up now.” *Cue me collapsing into a heap of sobs and shakes* Me collapsing of course made Puffin nervous and fussy so to get her to try and calm down my dad gives her a slice of cheese (one of her favorite things). She walks over to me, climbs into my lap, and seeing that I’m still crying, starts feeding me cheese. Definitely an adorable moment <3.

We’re all fine now, well I’m still shaking and a little freaked out. Puffin is happily asleep in her crib and I’m trying to get motivated to do all of the crap I have to do tonight. So yes, babies will pass out if they hold their breath like that. Lesson learned!

Milestones: Walking, running, climbing, eating normal food, a few spoken words.

Fun Facts: Favorite person is my dad, favorite food is cheese, favorite object is her stuffed kitty.


JoAnn’s 1 year letter.

I originally wanted to write a letter to JoAnn, every month of my pregnancy. That didn’t work out. So I decided I will write her one on her birthday every year. Here’s her letter. I don’t know when I’ll give it to her, but I will. Maybe on her sixteenth birthday or something. This is cross posted on my other blog

JoAnn,                                                                                     October 5, 2012

Baby girl, this year has been a whirlwind. Its hard to think that exactly a year ago today, I was getting ready to have you.  You have grown so much this past year. Some things I don’t remember, I don’t remember the exact date you started rolling over, I don’t remember exactly when you out grew your dairy allergy, and I don’t remember the last time I got a full night’s sleep.  I wouldn’t trade any of that for the world though. Because I remember the important things. I remember the first time I saw you, the split second of “OH MY GOODNESS I JUST HAD A BABY” followed by a longing to hold you in my arms forever. I remember staying up with you in the hospital all night, you couldn’t sleep and to be honest neither could I. I couldn’t believe the miracle that just happened. I remember long nights trying to soothe you to sleep only to find you just needed to be snuggled against my chest. I remember the day you first looked at me, the day I knew you saw me. I remember cleaning spit up, and joking that it was my new favorite perfume. I remember giving you sponge baths that you hated, and then snuggling you until you were warm and toasty again.

I remember how happy you were getting your pictures taken at Christmas time and how you slept so well through your father, uncle, grandma and I demolishing crab legs. I remember your obsession with your cow. You still love that thing, and it hasn’t gotten on my nerves yet. I remember the first popsicle you had with Honey. I remember your eyes lighting up when you saw grandpa. I remember how you hated tummy time so much that you somehow forced yourself to dive over the boppy. You scared yourself and me half to death doing that! I remember you crawling to Honey. I remember your first meal that wasn’t breast milk, rice cereal. You hated it. I remember when you decided that the only place you would sleep was right between daddy and me. I remember you breaking out of your swaddle in the middle of the night and the two painstaking months it took for you to adapt to your crib. I remember you getting SO excited when daddy or I came into the room to get you up for the day. I remember the one time you pulled up and were so excited and surprised you plopped back down. I remember watching you cruise around furniture and the endless battle that it took to keep you from eating grandpa’s paper. I remember moving out of Honey and grandpa’s house and into our little house. You took to the place right away. That’s when I knew this was home. Not just a house, a home. Home is where your heart is, where those you love are, and where you’re happy. JoAnn, you make this tiny apartment home.

I remember your first bites of mac n cheese, you splashing around in the tub, the way you get so excited about random things that you turn into a tea kettle and flail your arms. And most of all, I remember that tonight, as I was laying you down, you looked at me, touched my cheek, and planted a big sloppy good night kiss on it.  I love you sweetheart. It has been such a blessing to watch you grow this past year. From not being able to move, and only cry, to walking and babbling.  You have such a personality already; I can’t wait to see who you grow up to be. But don’t grow too fast ok? Because I’m going to miss your cuddles, your shameless open mouthed drooly kisses, the way your eyes light up when you see me, your love of cheese its and being able to hold you in my arms. Stay young, stay happy, and most of all JoAnn, stay my little girl. I can’t wait to see what this next year will bring us. I love you babe, now, forever, and always you will be my peanut.

All of my love,



Before 2pm…

So I was browsing Facebook today (go figure) and I came across a post from one of my friends detailing everything she did before 2pm. It was impressive, cleaned a car out (in and out) planted some plants etc etc. Very productive, quite impressive. But then I realized. I do more before 2pm than most people do all day. I’ll go into detail because its my blog and I can.

3:00am - Puffin wakes up, needs food, goes back to sleep

5:30am- Puffin wakes up, eats, refuses to go back to sleep

6:00am-6:45am- Family cuddle time aka putting Puffin between hubs and I while we try to sleep as she crawls on us and makes adorable cooing noises.

7:00am- breakfast for booger, get dressed, and do some dishes.

8:00am- leave house to get groceries

8:15am- breakfast on the road

8:20am- arrive at parents because we forgot important things there…like money

8:30am-9:30am- grocery shopping with a fussy baby

9:45am- first nap and food for Puffin

9:50am- clean chicken and start prepping for dinner. Throw ingredients into crock pot

10:30am- finish dishes, unpack appliances, clean counter space off, reorganize utensil drawers.

10:45am- Puffin wakes up (and eats)

11:00am-11:45am- play time with Puffin while unpacking/munching because breakfast was small.

12:00pm- Hubs gets home from the hardware store, we put things away, set stuff up, eat lunch.

12:30pm-1:30pm- Fight with Puffin to get her to sleep, Hubs sets up TV stand, internet etc. I cuddle/rock/sing to a fussy baby

1:30pm-2pm- quiet play time, food for Puffin, diaper change #5

2:30pm-3:00pm- more fighting with Puffin to get a nap.

3:00pm- nap time for Puffin

3:00pm-3:45pm- cleaning, unpacking, dishes etc

4:00pm- Puffin wakes up! Food and play time

4:45pm- Dinner is ready speedy food consumption for hubs and I

5:30pm- bath time/food/lotion time for Puffin

6:30pm- After a fight, Puffin falls alseep

7:00pm- blogging and restful activities.

And well on the agenda for the rest of the night is more unpacking, cleaning, and there sure as heck will be a foot rub because my foots hurt.  I’ll probably stop and go to sleep somewhere around 11pm/12am


The Crib Chronicles V

Say what you will but I’m a believer…in CIO. At least for my kid. Others may not respond well and that’s cool, every baby is different. So is every mom. I was talking with another mom friend of mine who has quadruple the amount of willpower I have. She and I were comparing CIO notes and I stated I went in at 5/10/15 min to check on Puffin. My friend stated that she stopped checking on her lil guy because it’d get him more riled up. Like I said it works different for everyone but I don’t have that kind of willpower. Hearing Puffin cry blows, but having her wake up happy and well rested is COMPLETELY worth it. We’ve started CIO for naps too, those aren’t quite as successful but we’re working on it. Puffin falls asleep usually by the 10 min check now or shortly thereafter. I count that as success.

We’ve come from co-sleeping and NEITHER of us getting good sleep to separate rooms, CIO and both of us being well rested. I wish my Puffin wasn’t as stubborn as she is or I think we could have tried a “no cry” method but she’s too stubborn for that.  


Milestones; Lots of pulling up, crawling faster than the speed of light, and on two to three solids a day including some food in her mesh feeder :)

Standing <3


The Crib Chronicles IV

This was possibly the roughest night of my life. We let Puffin cry it out. In a more humane way. I would go in at intervals (I chose 3,7,10&15) and pick her up calm her a bit, reassure her that everything was ok etc. My child cried for almost half an hour before she fell asleep and it SUCKED! I hate hearing her cry. At the 7minute interval I went in and she was laying against the short part of her crib with her hand through the bars reaching for the door. My heart broke. At the 10 minute interval she was sitting in her crib crying. Both times I calmed her down and both times as soon as I put her down she began sobbing again. This SUCKED. But…she fell asleep on her own. No nursing, no bink, no swaddling…its a step…and they say tomorrow night will be better :) I hope. :/


The Crib Chronicles III

Yes, at six months Puffin is still fighting the crib. She’s taken to sleeping in our bed, latched on. This is partly my fault because she was waking up every hour/half hour and this momma needed sleep. So now we’re working on breaking that. Her doc says she has reflux so she’s on zantec. That’s working…kinda…but now she’s constipated from the meds and not sleeping because she has to poo!

On a bright note she does this wonderful thing now where if I’m holding her when she’s asleep, she’ll flutter her eyes to see if I’m still there. Upon seeing me she then sleepily smiles and falls RIGHT back to sleep. Melts.My.Heart <3 But seriously, this kid needs to sleep. CIO isn’t much of an option seeing as last time I tried that she had issues the entire next day and would NOT let me put her down.

We’ve also started solids. She LOVES applesauce and prunes and absolutely detests peas and “country garden vegetables” She does enjoy trying to eat whatever mommy is eating though. So far she’s had french fries, lo mein, chewed on a raw carrot, cucumber, and celery, she’s had chocolate, and many different juices. If nothing else she’s a foodie! 

Its so interesting how you can see that she’s actively trying to be like me. She’s walking if you hold her hands, she’s crawling, and sitting up, and when her daddy gets home, she lapses into a fit of squeals and smiles. Also since its been so long posting here’s a pic of Puffin on Easter <3 hopefully another blog will follow soon…probably to do with sleep


Momma’s Bed

Why do we like sleeping in our parents’ beds? I used to crawl into my parents’ bed all the time when I was little.

Puffin was being super fussy and hubster was at work. I had tried everything. I swaddled her, I put her in her swing, I nursed her, I sang to her, I played with her, I nursed her again, I put her in her bouncy seat, I put her in her activity station. Legitimately I tried everything short of duct tape.

So I gave up. I lay down in hubby and my bed set her next to me and nursed her laying down. Within two minutes she was asleep. Not just semi asleep either, full out baby snoring asleep. What is it about our parents’ beds? Is it being close to them? Is it the added warmth of another body? Or is it just knowing that we’re safe? In our parents’ beds we are with the person/people who love us most. When we’re little, it feels like a fortress. There is nothing that could go wrong snuggled between our parents.They fight off the monsters, the bad dreams, and the dark shadows. We are loved. We are safe.

And I will always let her cuddle up next to me. <3


The Crib Chronicles part I

Yet another exciting day of attempting to get my Puffin to sleep in her crib! I’ve discovered several things about this by the way. Since I put Puffin in the crib when I go to the bathroom or have to change or something she doesn’t associate her crib with sleeping. This…makes the transition a BIT difficult. So how am I getting over this? I face her the opposite way so that she’s not under her mobile. And can’t tell she’s in her crib! I am sneaky!! bwahahaha!!

So last night was our first night in the crib. It went pretty well. I decided to try it because she was waking up gassy in the bassinet and I think its because of the angle her legs are at (its shaped like a car seat). She woke up a lot but not because she was gassy, she just wanted to be nursed back to sleep. So I was up for four or five minutes every hour or two. It wasn’t too bad. Its gorgeous out today so after she wakes up from her nap I’ll probably take her for a walk. Its sixty degrees January?? Anyway, it’ll give her some fresh air, try to wear her out maybe. It’ll be nice.

I just hope the transition won’t throw her sleep schedule off.

Milestone Updates: Rolling baby continues to roll. Not super proficiently yet, but she’s definitely moving. Puffin also laughs a lot now, its probably the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. I think we’re gonna attempt baby cereal soon too because she keeps eying my food when I’m eating and always seems hungry.


Let Her Cry…

No. This is my least favorite piece of unsolicited advice. When people tell me this I want to punch them directly in the mouth. Yes, Puffin sometimes needs to fuss and just be fussy. Being that I am her mom and I know her cries better than ANYONE, I think I know best when that is. And yet, people persist. Now if I’m having a conversation with someone like I was this past week at the moms group I go to, that’s different. We were talking about getting her to sleep in her crib (the saga continues) and someone said that they just let their kid cry. I have no problem with advice given in that manner. One it was in context, and two we were sort of comparing notes.

Its when she’s fussing and making her distressed cries and people tell me to “let her cry” that pisses me off. I know I’m young and a first time mom but seriously? I DO have maternal instincts. They’re pretty good at telling me what to do too. *exhausted sigh* Meh I guess its to be expected though <3

Milestone updates: At just over three months, Advanced Baby is advanced. She rolled over the other day, twice. Back to front too. The second time she did it she IMMEDIATELY started trying to crawl. She also has a little tooth bubble in her gums that looks like its going to rupture soon. That should be fun…OH! and she tries real hard to blow raspberries SO cute! Very drool-y!

Also&#8230;this &lt;3. Yes, it hurt. Yes, I would do it again.

Also…this <3. Yes, it hurt. Yes, I would do it again.

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